 by DIANA HOCKLEY.
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I read a lot – my husband will attest to that – and just lately it has
dawned on me what is lacking in many contemporary novels. Imagery!! Sights,
sounds and smells, the intricate details which set time and place.
I am not sure why this is so, but yesterday, while reading a novel, I
couldn’t get a sense of where the characters were or even that there was a
change of speakers! I knew they were in a house, but what sort of house? Were
there pictures on the walls? Was it old fashioned or modern?
Unfortunately, this is all too common in the latest paperback or
e-books, as is jumping from scene to scene with nothing to indicate why or
where. Many writers seem content to let their characters talk, go
shopping, have sex and occasionally go to work. Fine, you say?
Certainly, but where is the detail I would expect to find in a
well-written story? What are they seeing, hearing and smelling? Is the scent of
flowers drifting in from the garden? Is there anything cooking on the stove? Is
there cat hair on the cushions? Where is the attention to detail which
makes a mundane novel into a great one?
A novel I read recently detailed a list of what the heroine bought
and lots of sex, but this was a murder mystery as well! The shopping and sex
took up three quarters of the plot leaving the murder to be crammed into the
last quarter. The build up lacked tension, and the minutiae of the killer’s
motive was so mysterious as to be non-existent! All the reader got were his
thoughts: “She is mine, mine, mine!” As far as I was concerned, he could have
her, because I didn’t care enough to worry about her.
Let us take a look at a couple of examples:
“Let’s go and have
some dinner,'” she said. They walked into the restaurant and ordered fish to
go. Back at the house they ate and washed up and went to the bedroom. “
Then followed some very detailed sex. How riveting is that?
Okay, how about:
“Let’s go out to
dinner,” she said, smiling.
He turned away from
the city lights shining through the huge lounge room window. “Where do you
want to go?”
“There’s a new fish
cafe just down the street with low lighting and soft jazz.” Her hand poised
over the stereo, mouth watering as the thought of hot, crispy chips and grilled
trout with lime filtered through her mind. Her stomach growled and she hoped he
hadn’t heard.
“We’ll get something
in.” He moved quickly across the room and took her in his arms, “I don’t want
to share you, even with the waiter in a restaurant.”
Suddenly, all thought
of dinner was forgotten...
Not sure why he was gazing at the city lights instead of attending to
her, but for the purposes of example – we know that she is hungry, wants to go
out and eat but he has one thing on his mind (so what’s new?) and is quite
happy to let her starve for the moment. She shouldn’t get too involved with
him! This is a spur of the moment, made up scenario and a bit rough, but you
get the picture?
The first example, exactly from the book - I don’t want to identify it-
gives the reader nothing in ambience, but when you get to the sex there is far
too much information, trust me!
Another scene with a couple walking, taken from The Naked Room:
‘The leaves on the
trees beside the drive rustled in a gentle night breeze. Stars blazed in the
Milky Way giving dim natural light, augmented by the torch. An owl hooted
nearby. By mutual consent, we didn’t speak. The only sound was our footsteps
and Benji’s nails clicking on the tarmac as he panted along in front. My back
cringed as though in the sights of a sniper’s rifle. Somewhere, someone was
watching us, probably through night glasses.’
And from another piece in the first example, also with a couple walking:
‘They walked down the
road to the river and along the path. Why didn’t he talk, she wondered, but
didn’t want to upset him. When they got to the end of the path they turned
back, got in the car and drove back to the house.’
Uh? What house, where was the river? Were there ducks on the river,
people rowing, fishing, what sort of day was it? Were there barbeques in a park
nearby, sending the enticing aroma of sausages or steak through the air? Were
there children screaming and chasing each other through the grass? Did they
pass anyone on the way there or back? Why didn’t she want to upset him? Sadly,
the paragraphs before and after only indicate that he is angry about something,
she doesn’t know what and is afraid to ask. Some relationship!
So much more could have been added with a few lines of imagery to set
the scene and make the reader care about the couple. Later in the plot, we find
out that his father has died and she thinks, in time honoured fashion, that he
is angry with her, but he won’t tell her what is wrong so and she won’t ask...blah
blah... but by this time, I didn’t give a darn what they did. Is this
minimalist style of writing the latest fashion? Is life moving so fast now that
people don’t want to be slowed down by such things as imagery?
Lee Childs’ superb minimalist writing of Reacher’s travels and Spartan
way of life seem to lose nothing in the ambiance. Kenneth Graham in Wind in the
Willows is filled with sights sounds and smells along the river bank and in the
wild, wild wood. Which of these famous novelists is right? And why do we enjoy
their work so much?
Lee Child’s is a natural story teller. He has perfected a character who
I suspect we all would like to be or to know – seemingly free and untamed,
going where he likes with few worldly goods to slow him down. Women like sexy
Jack’s love and leave ‘em style; men envy his resilience and irresistibility to
women.
Reading Wind in the Willows wafts the reader into a dreamlike state, as
though he or she is actually living in the painting, where Rattie rows on
the river and Mole, a fussy, solitary little animal, is coaxed into an
adventure with Badger and Toad. One can smell the damp undergrowth, the scent
of wildflowers in spring and feel the ever present danger of predators.
Kenneth Graham depicts an innocence which is reflected in the
sights, sounds and smells of the river bank and the wild wood. This is a place
where many would like to get away from the stresses of our lives and for a time
escape into the imagery which he so cleverly weaves throughout the tale. Graham
draws the reader so deeply into the story, that the incongruity of a rat, a
mole, a badger and a toad travelling together becomes perfectly feasible. Thus
the power of imagery!
So to sum up that which is obvious and about which I have waffled,
sights, sounds and smells whether sparsely or lavishly presented, are necessary
for the successful novel and contemporary writers would do well to remember
this.
